PLL: Charlotte’s Web

Whoa, why is everyone making Aria feel shitty about getting back to work?? Hannah needs to pull back the attitude!

Aria probably did something with Ezra and is trying to flee by making work an excuse.

WAIT EMILY’S DAD DIED!?!?! OH shit! I didn’t realize that! I am guessing it was referenced last episode with that military thing in their window but I did not know what that was.  God I thought previous episodes of this show were dark, but this season is real and dark.

Hannah’s man is British? Ohhhh intrigue! His accent is awful, is this actor american??

Update: He is not British! He’s Australian.

OH I was right, Aria DID sneak out to see Ezra! I knew it! I don’t know why I am so impressed with myself as though I solved the ending of True Detective Season 1, but I am proud of myself!

Did anyone cringe when Allison said grace at the table? Yikes, that was so awkward….

Ohhhhh what did Emily have an appointment for at Hollis? For her pill addiction? Fingers crosseed! The show’s creator said:

“It’s a big part of her storyline. What she’s hiding is definitely her biggest storyline of the season. It’s one big secret tied into two secrets. Two of her secrets are folding into the giant, bigger secret.”

Let me lay out the cards now, I think Emily has diabetes and is trying to hide it from her mom to protect her!

Did Caleb and Spencer hook up?? Or will they? OR BOTH!?

Shit y’all, Ezra is DARK. Between Ezra, Emily’s dad, Emily’s addiction/illness, Charlotte’s murder, and Sara this season is dark AF! What is happening? Do teen girls like this new season? I feel like it’s less relatable than prior seasons.

HANAH deleted evidence before hopping into bed with her Aussie-Not-British-Beau! I mean I guess it’s not evidence yet but it will be! That was cute when you were 17 Hannah, but you’re 22 now so you really, really need to think about the consequences of your actions (getting charged as an adult will suck a lot more than as a minor).

OMG MELISSA IS BACK NEXT EPISODE! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Melissa is my fav! Spencer is the worst and I cannot wait to have her back to give it to Spencer for totally boning (or trying to bone) Caleb!

 

PLL: FrAmed

“Charles gave me his frosting. How does that turn into vicious?” #AwkwardIncest!?

I mean, the writers knew what that sounded like, right?! Yikes.

“You just met the guy, he sure is asking a lot of questions“-Ezra, I don’t think you know how babies are made. Clark, while quite handsome, is not secretly Charles in blackface, I cannot imagine the show going THAT far. Actually….

The actor who plays Lorenzo is TOO OLD TO KISS ALLISON! Ahhhh! His IMDB doesn’t show his DOB, and type the question in google and apparently that question is a top hit! HOW OLD IS THIS MOFO?!

TWIST!: There are TWO As!  Again….I am still not convinced that Charles is A, remember when Ezra was A?

Anyways, there are two and one has a feminine physique! A woman!

The dinner at Carlo’s before prom conversation sounds like the most authentic. teenage conversation on this show! Emily even talks about “twinkle lights” at this restaurant.

Rhys is very….50 Shades of Lame….and the actor is not listed in the credits for the episode.  Does this mean that Rhys has some bigger role and the show runners don’t want viewers too hot on the trail! He looks kind of like Jason, too!

ALSO, the character’s name-Rhys Matthews–there’s an actor named Matthew Rhys, is there a connection or has this show made me a total conspiracy theorist??

I love how he ends the meeting with a message, “I need a holding’s report!” That’s a very Christian Gray nonsense-business-babble way to speak to inform viewers that this man is very important.

AHHHH ARIA ASKED EZRA TO PROM–Wow student asking a teacher to prom….I need to find more synonyms for awkward, guys.

Clark is lying! He’s hiding something!

“I grew up in a bilingual household”-GOOD FOR YOU, LINDA TANNER! NOT EVERYONE HAD THAT OPPORTUNITY SO QUIT YOUR HUMBLE-BRAGGING!

“Your little pink fist“-Tanner, chill out! Ick!

CLARK! CLARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHADY MOFO! (imagine me screaming at the TV because that’s exactly what I did).

Lorenzo and Allison’s argument disturbs me because his face so clearly shows that he’s not 20 or even close. THIS SHOW NEEDS TO MAKE SOME CHANGES! These age gaps are not endearing or something to aspire to, they are displays of power by older men (and once a woman) with younger, vulnerable women.  Soapbox speech done.

PLL: She’s No Angel

We open with a strange girl who is filthy and in some sort of basement performing ballet that is very reminiscent of Sia’s music video for Elastic Heart. VERY similar dance. I wonder if it’s the same dancer. 

UPDATE: I was right! It is her!!!! It’s Maddie Ziegler!!

OMG Spencer’s open mouthed chewing is SO GROSS! Maybe it’s my mysophonia but that brief exaggerating chewing intended to show us how anxious Spencer is was the worst 10 seconds of TV!

“My mom just got back from Curves“–Spencer’s mom works out a gym that super popular in the late 90s?!!

Okay Sara is totally fake-talking on the phone! I don’t buy it! Her parents are probably dead!

Ew Spencer talking about/implying her horny teenaged sex with Toby is creepy.  The writers are telling us she’s on a stimulant (adderall or something), but don’t those drugs make you LOSE your appetite? Or is it the weed she bought? 

This show needs to STOP with the May/December romances. Hell, the May 1982/December 1996 romances! Lorenzo is clearly MUCH older than Ali and, I know I sound like a broken record but, ITS CREEPY! No more! Please, ABC Family! Just give us more age-appropriate love interests!

Why is Emily SO hell bent on protecting Sara over Aria?! Her obsession with helping Sara is clouding her judgement!

Why doesn’t Aria just ask to borrow the picture because she thinks she knows the person in it rather than steal ALL of Clark’s work?!!

Oh wait are those weed-cookies?? Is that why she wouldn’t share with Hannah? I’m so confused about the significance of these freaking cookies! 

Update: I looked at Twitter and those cookies are in fact weed cookies. And she left them with another recovering addict to throw away for her, thereby tempting him instead of herself! How selfish!

Is it just me or did makeup use too much brow filler on Emily:

  
EMILY DO NOT BE THE STEREOTYPE AND GET A JAPANESE TATTOO! Haven’t you ever seen the buzzfeed on exactly that?!

Sara is like an anxious little squirrel! Emily needs to let her go!

WHY IS EVERYONE ACCEPTING CHARLES AS DEAD?! They all thought Allison was dead for YEARS, then Mona and now Charles?! Y’all know he’s not dead, right?!!

The ending scene of A brushing a wig on a tennis ball is supposed to be eerie but it’s HILARIOUS:

  

PLL: Don’t Look Now

Wait MEGA PLOT HOLE FROM THE START- how did the DeLaurentis family moved here after Alli was one when Alli’s mom had an affair that created her older brother Jason??

“I noticed you’ve been taking pictures the last couple of days”–Chad Lowe, c’mon, you are NEVER HOME!

“When my mom said you could spend the night she meant sleep“–No, Hannah, you’ve met your mom. She meant you should do other things!

In Spencer’s flashback she’s clutching her body covered in blood–they were in the bunker for 3+ weeks, makes sense that they incorporate some reality into the show, menstrual cycles and all.

WAIT SPENCER IS STRAIGHT UP DUMPSTER DIVING.

For such a smart girl, Spencer is NOT practicing good dumpster diving hygiene!

OMG, wait the two people that could help (Allison’s great aunt and mom) are dead–SEANCE TIME!

Aria lying to her dad and feeling entitled to do so is SO FRUSTRATING–can she not imagine what he went through?! Her parents thought she was dead!!! DEAD! This is not the time to be angsty-teen!

Why are they cutting the scene with Chad scolding Aria, Toby scolding Hannah and Emily’s mom just chatting about weird-o Sara together as though they are all connected??!?!!

They straight up lied to Jason and told him he hallucinated his BROTHER! HIS BROTHER! THAT IS BAD PARENTING! NO WONDER HE WAS DOING DRUGS! HE HAD TO DROWN OUT THE MEMORIES!

Ohhhhh the editor got LAZY! Look at this poor photo-shopping of childhood Allison and Jason:

OMG I love this note Charlie left Aria: “You’re my doll, bitch”-it sounds endearing and kitschy! Like #bitcheslovedolls or something!

I knew producers would work Aria’s real-life-haircut into the storyline!

I love Emily’s 90’s grunge look! Look at her versus Rayanne from My So Called Life! Basically twins #blessed

What if the tombstone is a symbol and sure, it’s been there a long time, but THEY NEED TO DIG UP THE BODY to PROVE IT’S HIM!  Why are they stopping Hannah?  WE NEED DENTAL RECORDS!

Are Sara and Emily going to kiss?!

Did Hannah and Caleb just break up!? AHHHHHH! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAIT-Charlie was put in Radley because Alli’s negligent dad left her alone upstairs as an 11 month old while he went outside to grill. That;s what I heard.

PLL THEORY-Summer of ANSWERS

A theory has been swirling around the interwebs and I totally buy it!

Bear with me–Charlie is actually WREN!

So we know Charlie was sent away for a reason, right? We’ve never heard of him until now.

So maybe, juuuuust maybe, Charlie was a byproduct of Mr. Dilaurentis’ wandering eyes (and peen) and the Mrs. didn’t like that.  Very Caitlyn Stark of her but Charlie Snow was sent away!

Where was Charlie sent away? Maybe ENGLAND, and maybe he changes his name to Wren.

Oh and this is my personal game, scramble the letters and Wren=Rwen which said out loud sounds like ruin?  Sorta? Eh that was weak.

Anyways, tonight is the SUMMER PREMIERE!

PLL: The Melody Lingers On

Oh boy, let me begin by saying that my AC is broken and where I am, my home is a balmy 81 degrees and gettin’ warmer (the how is beyond me), so my brain may be scrambled by the end of this episode (although it usually is anyways).

Did Hannah’s incriminating blood come from the blood drive? Is the moral of the story “Don’t Donate Blood!”?!

“I don’t like the idea of 12 strangers off the street deciding what happens“-Has Allison’s dad lived in the US ever? Does he not understand the role of a jury? Has he not listened to SERIAL!?

Dude Aria’s new guy is a psycho! I mean, even if he THINKS the world is better off without Mona, he certainly shouldn’t intimate that aloud!

Ohhhh fancy transition from Rain with Emily to Allison in the prison shower!  Also, whenever I see a dramatic shower transition I think of that scene in The Craft where the bully is showering and her hair is falling out because the girls (particularly, Rachel True) cursed her.

“I can see something running around behind her eyes”

Ahhh I love Caleb! He’s amazing! Visiting his lawless lady in prison!  I like that the girls aren’t heavily made-up in prison to look unrealistically beautiful and primped.

Ohhh a creepy call from Varjack playing a french song! Intrigue! Mystery! SIIIIIIKKKEEEEE I stopped caring a lonnngg time ago about who is behind the calls, texts, etc!

WHY IS JASON SUDDENLY SPEAKING WITH A SOUTHERN ACCENT?!! Also, he needs to blink 300% more often, I feel like his eyes are going to dry out with all of his hard staring at Spencer!

“Forbid?! That’s a big, hefty, 19th Century word!”-Spencer, do you know what forbid means? How could you possibly think that’s an outdated term? You are a MINOR and your mother can FORBID you from doing things if she so wishes, goshdarnit! #bighefty19thcenturyword

Mona’s murder tape sounds….ah…interesting? I will let you use your imagination! Anyways, this trial is intense! Not really, though.

WAIT, YES! Hannah’s mom and Jason boning is GOING TO COME OUT IN TRIAL! PLOT TWIST! The state is accusing him of taking sex from Hannah’s mom in exchange for a different testimony! I mean, we all know she’s done stuff like that before so it would not be shocking at ALL.

“Most ladies in the congregation manage to pull the news straight out of the atmosphere…it’s pretty amazing.”-Cool story, bro.

Mona’s house is boarded up but inside there’s creepy music playing and suddenly the door is unlocked? NO! DON’T GO INSIDE! Haven’t they seen EVERY horror movie ever!? NEVER GO UPSTAIRS!

Aw I love Hannah’s optimism! “Who knows, maybe I’ll write a book, lots of people write books in prison!”Oh but Hannah you do NOT want your mother’s DNA! There are ways to get what you want or need without having sex with every man you come across!

“It’s like those signs in parking lots, ‘backing up causes severe tire damage’.”–WHAT SIGNS ARE YOU REFERRING TO!? I have never seen these signs! THAT SIGN IS NOT A THING IN THE DRIVING WORLD!

What the frack is “BooBoo’s Ice Cream”?!  Why is Paul Varjack being shredded?! WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!?

So this episode was a HUGE DUD!  I know that it’s really a necessary filler episode before the finale where there’s allegedly going to be a reveAl but really, they couldn’t make this better?!  Between Jason’s alarmingly unblinking stare and Caleb thinking about dipping out, I am VERY dissatisfied!

Pretty Little Liars: Bin of Sin

So these girls are assuming that Mona’s body is in that barrel, hmm? I mean, I know this is Pretty Little Liars and it can dark but if that’s true, that’s 1. a rip off from Breaking Bad and 2. DARK! Like, REALLY DARK!

Wait, Caleb’s alibi for Hannah is dismissed as “they’ll just think you’re lying”?  If I have learned anything from Serial it’s that one witness can do anything and everything in a murder case!  That was just the writers backtracking and hoping the viewers just believe it.

This new chick is into Ezra! She made him pecan pie! And left a note on it! I can’t decide if she’s into Ezra, Emily or if she has a really poor sense of boundaries.

“You have been a cop for all of 6 minutes and you have the nerve to investigate your superior?” YES! Finally, someone putting these kids in their place!

Aria is showing Ezra her letter! As her elder I would hope that Ezra would be mature and understand why Aria wrote that letter and that her future matters. But this is a show based on nonsense with a need for dramatic arcs so this will just be one of them!

WAIT, CALEB isn’t going to help Hannah?! He’s a former wild-child-criminal, he knows what to do!!!!

Whoaaaa, Hannah knows her criminal lingo! She even uses the term “burner phone“!

You know what I love about this show, by the way? That when I DVR it, it’s an hour but when I fast forward commercials it’s only about 35 minutes!  It’s great!

Soooo, after a one-night stand Jason wants to DATE Hannah’s mom? He’s asking why she doesn’t wear an engagement ring and questioning her relationship! Dang homie, cool it, k?  You had relations with Hannah’s mom, so has every of-age man in Rosewood! You’re NOT SPECIAL JASON!

Toby as a cop is kinda dick, yo….I don’t like it! And I didn’t know I could dislike Toby more!

I am not sure where Emily and Spencer are, underground somewhere? Under the storage place, but why? As I often do, I tuned out….But the director made a point of zooming in on Freeze Dried Almonds…ominous almonds! Oh no!

Oh wait, their voices aren’t coming from above, they are coming from the same room! A left them a free tablet! Cool! Thanks, A!

So last week Caleb was almost burned to death and this week Aria and Spencer almost freeze to death?  I think A has a thing for extreme temperatures, maybe he/she is aroused by it? Who knows with A…..I now imagine A as some middle-aged man, a millionaire from creating his own video game, sitting at a computer fapping away at his these tricks he plays on teen girls…

Ezra:  “I remember how excited I was to go to [college]…the letter…rang true for a reason”

Aria: “Yeah, because I’m a good writer.”

Ezra: ——AWKWARD SILENCE——

Yo, ARIA, YOU GOT BURNNNNNNNED!

Soooo Ezra NOW wants to break up with Aria so that she can have a “real college experience”?  It sounds to me like he wants a new, younger, more illegal model….like another freshman in high school.

I think this girl at the coffeeshop is going to hit Emily….she’s weird, stares too much without blinking, cooking for Emily, etc…

Ahhhh so the new girl is into Emily! They kind of look alike, right?

Spencer and Toby are probably going to break up, guys….She thinks her little posse of friends>his career…smh high school kids, first her then Aria? Time for PLL: The College Years!

Pretty Little Liars: Fresh Meat

First of all let me apologize!  I was travelling for work this week (yes, I have a real job outside of this blog) and my hotel room did not have ABC Family! Imagine my horror!  So this delay will not become a habit, I assure you!

Toby in his cop uniform, when asked where his from, says “Rosewood PD.”  No, Toby, to quote Spencer a few bitchy episodes ago, you can’t just up and be a cop!

Hannah got into a billion colleges! Yay!

Ezra is planning an opening of something, I didn’t pay close attention, but he’s stressing his high school student out by texting her about this event, and honestly, being irresponsible by distracting her while she’s at school.  I’m not, however, surprised. Her 25-year old boyfriend boned her when she was a 15-year old freshman (KNOWING she was 15 at the time) then he clearly does not care about her academics.  MAYBE THAT’S WHY YOU’RE NOT GETTING INTO COLLEGE, ARIA! MAYBE IT’S NOT A FOR ONCE, MAYBE IT’S YOU!

Emily and Paige have “grown apart” in ONE EPISODE?!

Wait, WHAT is the name of the college that Hannah is going to visit?  BELLA? BALLARD?  BELLAR???  I think that they are intentionally garbling it so that we have a hard time understanding them, that way we cannot verify the facts.   Or I have hearing problems.

Toby found his “family knife” in the woods….Someone reading this please help me…WHAT THE FRACK IS A FAMILY KNIFE?!  Especially one with missing parts?!?!  THIS IS NOT A THING!

And this crack team of Caleb, Spencer and Toby decide to not take ANY action with the knife?

And this opening thing is for a BOOKSTORE! I seeeeee! Some guy with a beret works there…and his beret is not ironic….

Emily is going to CATER THIS EVENT!?!?!  AND EZRA ASKS ANOTHER CREEPY QUESTION: “Do you even take home-ec?”  No, EZRA, your high school student’s friends are not in that course, why? You considering teaching it so that you can rape some more kiddos?  Cool story, bro.

Ok so I may have become addicted to the podcast Serial (which I am listening to a SECOND time around) but when Hannah’s mom gets a call from Allison?  It totally reminded me of the Serial opening “This is a Global-Tel link prepaid call from Adnan Syed an inmate at a Maryland Correctional facility”  

It also reminds me of the SNL Parody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjidkNvN-Ps

Why is Hannah walking around campus carrying a teddy bear??  Is she feeling lonely, separation anxiety?

I see the tour guide wearing a Ballard sweatshirt but when I google it I found a day-school: “Pupils are admitted to Ballard School, from the ages of 18 months to 16 years (Nursery to Y11).”  Annnnd it’s in the UK…. So are we assuming that Hannah is going to a nursery in England because that would be a KICK ASS spinoff show– “Posh Little Liar-Hannah Goes Brit!” etc etc, I can’t think of anything else right now.

Spencer: “You could have told me before I got carpet bombed with angry texts”  So I had to google this particular phrase and it means “a large aerial bombing done in a progressive manner to inflict damage in every part of a selected area of land.”  Call me rational, maybe one of few rational people who watches this show, but that seems excessively dramatic….

Wow Aria’s letter to the college about Ezra is hilariously accurate, she DID squander her youth with an older man and she DID make herself an outsider by doing so!  Thank GOODNESS! All it took was getting rejected from college to get her to understand!

Okay wait Spencer and Caleb think A will find a way to get the knife back to them….but I thought that they were convinced that Allison was A? So then who are they afraid of?

OMG OMG IS CALEB GONNA DIE!?! And where the heck did Spencer go off to??  Where did she just wander off to all alone?!  CALEB NEEDS HER!  Shit, if he burns alive in a kiln, this show will be seriously freaking DARK!

So this admissions dean that is Ezra’s ex thinks that Aria and Ezra broke up and Aria is worried Ezra will find out she let the woman think that?  Girl, if Ezra really cared about you then he would let you continue that lie! You can pretend that you got back together AFTER you got in!  Am I trying too hard to rationalize this nonsense?  I think yes….

I like this new caterer girl! And she appears to be rocking Nene Leakes’ “cold shoulder tunic”.

OMG HANNAH’S MOM AND ALLISON’S BROTHER MAKING OUT EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Ohhh A left Aria an ominous email that she sent to the dean of admissions at Talmadge? Oh so now A can hack into university emails and uses those personal emails to blackmail HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS? So A, as I have said before, is a millionaire psychopath?!  Cool.

CAN HANNAH’S MOM NOT HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE IN THAT TOWN?!

 

PLL: A Dark Ali

A has now somehow paid (I’m assuming paid, right? That’s how voluntary sentences work?) this guy to lie and say he was the one who did the fictitious kidnapping?  HOW MUCH MONEY DOES A HAVE??

Ezra being A made the most sense because he had the Fitzgerald or whatever bullshit name’s family money!  Now I am confused!

If I were Allison I would just say “yup, that’s the guy!” He’s clearly getting paid by A, it’s time to call A’s bluff!

Aria hands her depressed mother a plate of food that she ceremoniously presents as “You’re favorite-pesto and mozzarella!”

She then hands her mother something that is most certainly NOT pesto and mozzarella-it’s some sort of thin, measly sandwich with a side of grapes and chips.  Aria needs a cooking lesson if she thinks that’s peso and mozzarella anything

 

 

I love Melissa! She’s awesome!

Wait Aria says “The truth doesn’t amount to much when it’s coming from a bunch of liars.”-Aria, that’s just not true. Don’t hurt your brain trying to think too hard, but when you have witnesses and the dead person is clutching a weapon at the crime scene, you should be okay.

CHAD LOWE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!! YAYYYY!

What the frack is this random scene of the Hannah and Mona watching each other while singing scales? Why does Mona give Hannah a knowing look like she’s saying “oh yeah, biotch, my scales are soooooo swol, yours need to lift and get more swol.” –That’s what the look said, right?

Why did this guy attack Allison just to cut her on the leg and nothing more?  I’m so confused!

ALSO, is the show implying that this man once raped her????

So wait, now that Aria believed Hannah, Hannah is no longer boozy and suddenly she’s totally okay?  That’s a dramatic upturn in a downward spiral.

Wait what does Allison’s dad do for a living? He drives a nice car! MAYBE HE IS A?!

Ohhhhh Emily is “so done with you,” Allison! Ohhhhhh buuuuuurnnnnnn biotch! DONE! Your biggest advocate is DONE with you!

Now it’s Caleb’s turn to give the after school special talk. He also had a “Bacon calzone”. WTF is a BACON calzone?! Isn’t bacon a breakfast or BLT meat?!  Huh. I can’t decide how I feel about that.

SPENCER IS THE VOICE OF REASON!  Not gonna lie, I don’t hate Spencer this episode.

FINALLY these girls are doing the smart thing and cutting ties with Allison! They should have done this from the beginning.

What? Allison paid Cyrus to make the confession? What? Cyrus is implying that they had consensual sex? WHAT?! Is this Allison’s twin?  I’m SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh, Melissa is making some confession, who cares, WHY DO I STILL WATCH THIS SHOW?!

PLL: The Silence of E Lamb

Why is everyone scared of Emily’s mom?

I LOVE HANNAH’S NEW PUNK ROCK LOOK!!!!!!!!!!

Whoaaaa when Hannah reaches for Caleb’s fries he gives her a death stare. Gawd, Cale-ub, Hannah’s stressed, k? Don’t be so judgy about her eating a few fries! Ugh, MEN! #amiright?

Is it just me or is Caleb REALLY, like REALLY made up, right? Like too much foundation, guy-liner and bronzer. He looks super pretty, though!

“I just know you from what you left behind…like a tornado…“–Deep metaphor, Caleb. You should be a writer.

“Dad wants to sell the house. The house Melissa, this is our home.”- Spencer, I’m confused, can you clarify for me? What does dad want to sell?

Ohhhhhh Caleb brought over beers to celebrate being a rebel, he’s SOOOOOOOO BAAAADDD! Oh he also brought his perfectly made-up face! Just take a gander at his visage:
>

“What you gonna do little girl when you got no hands?”-Rhonda is pretty rad, I love her.

“Maybe you can have a headache in 2 weeks along with the cramps, am I right?”–HOW DOES EMILY KNOW HANNAH’S PERIOD CYCLE?!?!!

OMFG….So Aria is in Rhonda’s room and has to hide under her bed and Rhonda comes in and lays down on the bed and the directors made a point of showing how the bed bows and goes down a lot .  That’s really freaking mean!  WTH!  So Rhonda has curves, who cares! That is so mean to make a point of showing how the bed might crush Aria! ABC Family is becoming (more) very brass and insensitive!

This episode is ridiculous!  Emily’s mom is having all the TEENAGE girls over and she’s serving VODKA?! She’s serving HARD LIQUOR to minors??  WHAT PLANET are we on where that’s something that should be televised as cool??  Are we going to next show teens smoking and make it look “cool“?

And it’s not like Emily’s mom has been painted as a hippy a la Maya’s mom, or that she’s negligent.  So it’s just an ordinary mom serving hard liquor to kids.  Where’s the absinthe, ma??

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Allison is telling Hannah not to date Caleb so that Alli can have aaaallll her little minions all to herself!  What a wench! They should drop her.

Ohhhhhhh Caleb and Hannah kisssssssssss! WOOT! Guys, he’s acting super effeminate even when kissing Hannah!  What is going on with Caleb?!

“She was drinking”-Emily’s said.

“In front of your mom?!”-Aria asks, shocked.  Ummmm, Aria–EMILY’S MOM PROVIDED THE ALCOHOL!! Emily conveniently leaves that part out.

 

I’m confused as to why Hannah didn’t get the text.  Also, who’s engagement party invitation are we looking at, who are Zack and Ella and who is the person it’s addressed to, Pam Fields?!?!?! SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<br /