Yesterday should have been the day I posted this, but I am traveling for work and I mixed up my time zones so I missed the airing 2 nights ago. Still on a work trip and in a rental car, I spent the better part of last night lost trying to find my way back to the hotel. So now I am FINALLY POSTING a BELATED RECAP to the SUMMER PREMIERE! Why was that in call caps? I don’t know! I know nothing, Social Snow.
At the top we start with a press conference starring Ali begging for privacy. Did the reporter just say FOURTEEN girls???! Did A steal more?! DID I MISS SOMETHING?!
A few things off the bat struck me. When Hannah uses the word “facetiously” Emily says “Wow Hannah, that’s an eleven letter word”.
I must be missing something because 1) that’s a really unnecessary and snide comment to make when you’ve been in this man-made prison for 3 weeks! 2) Emily’s math is NOT that good! I don’t buy it!
During the scene where the girls wake up undressed I hope you all were as creeped out as I was because WHO THE FRACK UNDRESSED THEM!? The girls seemed unperturbed by their lack of clothes and simply checked their bodies for wounds evidencing organ harvesting. They were not concerned at all about Charlie’s Josh Duggaresque actions!
I want to know what the girls see when they go into their own rooms. From looks on their faces and their reactions, the witnessed something graphically disturbing. Maybe they saw their parents….nope, not gonna think about it! Moving on…..
ANDREW CAMPBELL is the prime suspect?! Remember last season when I said he might be A? Oh you don’t remember? Good thing I hyperlinked it HERE FOR YOU! I called it! #PWNED
I don’t know who I just owned by predicting something so predictable but it felt good to say it. Now the question is, if he IS A, is he really Charlie or is he working WITH Charlie? Or is he fronting the money?
OMG THESE GIRLS ARE SO DUMB! SO MANY idiotic things happen that make me think they really have no sense of self preservation!
So they get into Charlie’s lab and instead of looking for internet access, phone, landline something to signal for help, they decide burning his stuff in the enclosed space in which they are standing would be a good idea. Nevermind, the carbon monoxide! Screw suffocation! Let’s “mess” with Charlie! Then Emily, realizing Charlie didn’t care, was like “let’s throw a blanket on the fire!”
Emily, you should have thought of that before! Between your letter counting off the top of your head, your college acceptances, and your killer dance moves, you should be the one to stop the girls from doing stupid things. Or dance your way out!
At this point in the episode I’m waiting for them to die. THEN Spencer holds a doll up to the camera and says “Give us Mona back!”
GIVE US MONA BACK!? You finally have a tool to bribe your captor, the one who has control of your life and you use it to ask him to BRING ANOTHER CAPTIVE BACK!? Why not ask for your freedom?!! ASK FOR YOUR FREEDOM YOU STUPID GIRLS!
This other person in the dungeon, we later find out is Sarah Harvey, I was convinced it was Charlie in a wig….whoops!
The ending was surprisingly revealing! We got to see the girls reconnected with their significant others and Mona…stand alone awkwardly! So is it safe to assume that Aria and Andrew are over? Probably not, remember when we thought Ezra was A and then they got back together? Yeah, with this show ANYTHING can happen!
UPDATE: I was not the only one who heard “fourteen” instead of “four teen girls”! Apparently this was something a lot of people heard but rest assured, she said FOUR teen girls.
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