PLL: Out Damned Spot

Cmon, now the titles are just gibberish!

Do the writers even try anymore?! No, I know, the answer is no. Why do I bother asking? BECAUSE, I expect growth from everyone, including, might I add, these characters who have been in high school for 5 years…

Um why is everyone taking Emily’s cookies? And not in a sexual sense, they are literally taking cookies from her! They’re going to give her an eating disorder…..which might actually be a new plot twist.

WHAT IS IN THE COOKIES?! Mike (Aria’s rarely seen brother) came to the blood drive to steal cookies?! I guess plot twists are getting few(er) and far(ther) in between.

WHO IS THIS GUY that Aria is copying off of? Did they pick him up off of Jump 21 Street?!!? HE’S A NARC! HE’S AT LEAST 34!

Update: After writing this I looked him up, he was born in 1988 so fine, I concede that he’s not in his early 30s, he’s in his late 20s….

I have never heard of someone being denied financial aid.  Even my friends whose parents were extremely wealthy received financial aid. I know Rory didn’t get financial aid but that made sense, her mom got a huge chunk of money from her inheritance, that shows lack of need.

THE OUTFIT! GUYS! ON BARN GUY! JUST, ARG, JUST LOOK:

Acid washed cut-off denim vest over a camouflage hoodie….ack!

TALIA IS MARRIED!?!?! TWIIIISTTTTT!  See, young Emily, this is what happens when you date an ADULT, they might be secretly married!  Date your own age….actually, that goes for ALL of you young ladies! And while I’m at it, COVER UP! You’re going to school, not work at a brothel!

Sorry, I needed  say that.

Of course Spencer had to fall into this new, crazy-eyed man’s arms and feel something. Let me remind you that she and Toby are STILL together, they never officially broke up! You’re not Ross and Rachael, you cannot push those boundaries and think it will be okay!

27-year old high schooler looked at Aria’s texts when ever-so-slowly handing over her phone….a move that I have actually pulled quite often (sorry friends, family, etc to whom I have done this)….seeing it acted out I realize that it’s not quite as smooth as I thought it was.  I need a new snooping-move….but back to the show.

Dr Horton from Days of Our Lives (aka Hannah’s dad) is BACK! YESSSSSS!  His aged and weathered face is a reminder of both my own age and mortality in general.

See, this is why my dad should have taught me to drive a manual car, because then I could chase my little brother who is stealing blood from the blood bank to (I assume) sell to vampires at the local Rosewood sleazy-bar! That should be a new show! The spinoff! They can call it Ravensblood (RIP RavenSwood).

WAIT, IS MIKE ACTUALLY DOING UNDER-COVER-BIKER-PORN!?  Maybe that’s why he’s so nervous that Aria will find out! And it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility with this how.

melissahastings@ptmaisls.com ?! THAT is her fake email? That sounds like an older, foreign person (I can say that, I’m foreign…actually sounds like my mom) asking about checking email–“I vant to check emails, yes? Much like?”
Ahhh I think I have to send it an email, right!?

Okay done, email sent! Maybe Melissa will answer! Update: The email bounced back, BOOOO!

Ezra: “My parents…didn’t think I’d amount to much”

Hannah: “How’d it turn out”

Ezra: (what I wish he said) “Well look at me! I was on a great career track until I knowingly lied and took advantage of my 15 year old student, got a job teaching at university only to be demoted and never being able to hold a steady job, all due to ONE mistake–boning a veritable child for funsies. LEARN from my mistakes, Hannah! Have sex with people your own age!”

Also, not to sound like a total square but carrying blood around in your pocket is very unhygienic, Mike.  You don’t know what these girls have!

“You are like the queen of not helping!“-Spencer is 1000% a FRENEMY! Shut up, Spencer, at least Hannah got into college (buuuuurrrnnnnnn!)

So now A is a millionaire, blood spatter analyst, DNA expert master manipulator. Just making sure we all understand.

Ahhh we end with a preview of Hannah’s dance routine for the pageant! Yayy! Until next week!

 

 

PLL-Ehhhhh

“I know why he joined the police force-I encouraged him”-Um Spencer, you most certainly did not! Did you forget when you told him “You cant up and be a cop!“   Oh, you don’t remember?  Good thing I do and good thing I documented it! You 10000% discouraged him!

 

“That’s pretty passive aggressive”-Spencer says about Hollbrook being back in town. I sometimes wonder if people know what passive aggressive means.  A detective coming back to town is not passive at all, and if it’s at all aggressive it’s just that, no passivity there.  Sorry, Spencer, but yet again, you are wrong!  I don;t know why I am on a big anti-Spencer kick today…..

This new guy is a CREEP! Does anyone else feel like he’s sporting a comb over that producers are using to make him look young and hip when he’s secretly 43??  Look at this guy’s face and hair! He’s definitely over 40!

Spencer is so fucking bossy, YOU go talk to Leslie b*tch! Quit telling Hannah what to do!

Spencer is sitting there bossing Hannah around, telling Aria what to do, and b*tching  about how she’s so annoyed that she got into a bunch of colleges, boo freaking hoo! I really dislike Spencer, the writers have made her the least likable character on this show.  How are we supposed to feel bad for a girl who comes from money, gets what she wants and gets into a bunch of awesome colleges while her friends’ lives are falling apart?

“Most girls have trouble keeping two thgouhts in their mind at the same time, but Mona was thinking every second”—WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT THE F*CK!?!?!? This Leslie chick is straight up sexist and that comment is insulting! It makes me think of Leslie Knope’s hunting snafu.

“How does anybody get together with anybody?”–Deep thoughts brought to you by Emily.

So this creepy new guy…let’s call him Father Time. Father Time created this machine that lets you listen in on conversations across the coffeeshop.  How much shall we bet that A will use this device to 1. listen to the girls or 2. mess with them?

Father Time: “If you were really impressed you’d buy me coffee…” Spencer giggles coquettishly. That is NOT okay! This guy just got paid by Ezra (he said $200) and he’s living in their family’s carriage house and he’s asking HER to buy HIM coffee?  IS CHIVALRY SO DEAD THAT MEN NO LONGER AT LEAST PRETEND TO SPLIT THE BILL?!?!?

Is Aria’s brother threatening to kill her?? “Be careful going home through the woods,” he says in a tone that tells the view he is not at all concerned about her safety!

“Barking up the wrong henchman”- Mixing metaphors there, Hannah!