Pretty Little Liars Season 2 Episode 5

1. Ezra’s ex is in the picture!  Aria is introduced as a former student.  “I thought the whole point of you working here was so that you didn’t have to introduce me as a former student.”

NO.  The whole point of him becoming a PROFESSOR is to ADVANCE HIS CAREER! NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, ARIA!  Who are you, SPENCER?

2. SPOILER ALERT: Ian was found dead with a suicide note admitting to killing Allison.

And cue the drinking of tea from a mug with BOTH HANDS.  These girls are gonna be incapacitated by their tea.

3. Aria is pissed because at Ian’s funeral Ezra told her parents that he was there to support all his students instead of admitting his love for her.

THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T DATE 16-YEAR OLDS!  They make everything about them, even at someone’s funeral!

3. At Ian’s funeral they show the Pretty Little Liars putting dirt on Ian’s grave.  That seems to be in poor taste, no?  These girls blamed Ian for killing Allison and did not stop until they found him dead (potentially murdered).  Having them put the dirt on his grave seems almost glib…..

4.  Allison’s brother has now said he was “out of it last summer” or “loaded last summer” 5 times in one episode.

We get it, you liked to get high!  You aren’t the first person to smoke pot! Jesus!

5. Caleb just brought Hannah take-out and a GIANT 3lb BAG OF ICE! “You know when guys buy girls ice, that’s not what they mean” Hannah says.

Please tell me that I missed something here.  Was it literally JUST FOR THE PUN!?

6. A leads the girls to the cemetery where A projects a video onto a mausoleum.  The girls look around frantically for the projector/source of the video.

Guys.  The projector is going to be ACROSS FROM THE VIDEO. BOOM. Problem solved.

Ugh these girls are so dumb sometimes, I cannot handle this!  Onto episode 6….

Pretty Little Liars Season 1 Episode 17

1. Opens with this ominous braille translation:

2. “I knew Shawn, Shawn was a minister’s son!” -Said the mom who had sex with her daughter’s arresting officer to get the charges dropped, trying to instill morals.  Oh did I mention, she had her daughter help her hide stolen money.

3. Jenna is caught shopping at a boutique and getting a CUSTOM TAILORED NEGLIGEE! WHAT 16 YEAR OLD GETS CUSTOM TAILORED NEGLIGEES!?! And she tells the seamstress, “He likes lace”.

4. GUYS! JENNA is 29 IN REAL LIFE! Cant they find real teenagers or at least ppl in their early 20s? OR base the show on college students!

My Summer Television

So it’s summer and even though I am interning, I am also watching a lot of television.

I have exhausted all of my reality television options.  I am all caught up on Kardashians, Real Housewives of Orange County, etc.  I actually cannot watch Real Housewives of NJ anymore because it makes me sad and New York feels fake.

SO I watched Mad Men, start to finish, Vampire Diaries, start to finish, and Sherlock Season 2.

My friend suggested Pretty Little Liars.  She said that the show had a CW/WB feel that I would be comfortable with.

SO, I’ve begun and I am on episode 9.  I take issue with many things in this short span and I will keep updating on my issues:

1. Why don’t the girls on “Pretty Little Liars” ever reply to the texts from the ominous “A”?

2. WHY does this show and others like it have bars that are mainly occupied by the 3-5 title protagonists and the nemesis in the corner (Vampire Diaries with it’s Mystic Grill) ?

3. The 24yr old teacher had a one night stand with his 16yr old student, then later, after he’s had time to realize the gravity of the situation he is in, decides  to throw caution to the wind “so i can be with you”. This should explain itself.

4. Why do the girls in this show insist on using BOTH HANDS to drink out of their mugs? YOU CAN USE ONE HAND!

Update:

5. Someone just used the line “take my Andrew Jacksons and introduce them to your Benjamin Franklins”

6. Hannah’s mom just sent a fax and Aria’s dad said “I’m impressed, you could do brain surgery with those hands.” NO YOU CANT! IT’S A FAX! Also, who has fax “emergencies” in 2012??

7. Sometimes when these girls say “A” a lot (referring to the nemesis), I think they’re Canadians….

8. OMG! WHY DOES SPENCER KEEP KISSING HER SISTER’S BOYFRIENDS/FIANCEES?! She is the WORST! ALSO, why are they ALL drawn to her mouth! Do they taste like Macallan ?!

9. “You and I hating each other has become a lot of work:”-Spencer’s  older sister

“I didnt know we hated each other”-Spencer.
REALLY SPENCER?! REALLY?! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD STEAL YOUR SISTER’S BOYFRIENDS AND FIANCEES AND SHE’D LOVE YOU?! UGH

10. Is anyone else tired of Bianca Lawson‘s old ass pretending to be in high school? She was in high school 14 years ago on BUFFY! THE JIG IS UP! You are in your 30s!