PLL-Ehhhhh

“I know why he joined the police force-I encouraged him”-Um Spencer, you most certainly did not! Did you forget when you told him “You cant up and be a cop!“   Oh, you don’t remember?  Good thing I do and good thing I documented it! You 10000% discouraged him!

 

“That’s pretty passive aggressive”-Spencer says about Hollbrook being back in town. I sometimes wonder if people know what passive aggressive means.  A detective coming back to town is not passive at all, and if it’s at all aggressive it’s just that, no passivity there.  Sorry, Spencer, but yet again, you are wrong!  I don;t know why I am on a big anti-Spencer kick today…..

This new guy is a CREEP! Does anyone else feel like he’s sporting a comb over that producers are using to make him look young and hip when he’s secretly 43??  Look at this guy’s face and hair! He’s definitely over 40!

Spencer is so fucking bossy, YOU go talk to Leslie b*tch! Quit telling Hannah what to do!

Spencer is sitting there bossing Hannah around, telling Aria what to do, and b*tching  about how she’s so annoyed that she got into a bunch of colleges, boo freaking hoo! I really dislike Spencer, the writers have made her the least likable character on this show.  How are we supposed to feel bad for a girl who comes from money, gets what she wants and gets into a bunch of awesome colleges while her friends’ lives are falling apart?

“Most girls have trouble keeping two thgouhts in their mind at the same time, but Mona was thinking every second”—WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT THE F*CK!?!?!? This Leslie chick is straight up sexist and that comment is insulting! It makes me think of Leslie Knope’s hunting snafu.

“How does anybody get together with anybody?”–Deep thoughts brought to you by Emily.

So this creepy new guy…let’s call him Father Time. Father Time created this machine that lets you listen in on conversations across the coffeeshop.  How much shall we bet that A will use this device to 1. listen to the girls or 2. mess with them?

Father Time: “If you were really impressed you’d buy me coffee…” Spencer giggles coquettishly. That is NOT okay! This guy just got paid by Ezra (he said $200) and he’s living in their family’s carriage house and he’s asking HER to buy HIM coffee?  IS CHIVALRY SO DEAD THAT MEN NO LONGER AT LEAST PRETEND TO SPLIT THE BILL?!?!?

Is Aria’s brother threatening to kill her?? “Be careful going home through the woods,” he says in a tone that tells the view he is not at all concerned about her safety!

“Barking up the wrong henchman”- Mixing metaphors there, Hannah!

Pretty Little Liars: Over A Barrel

Do these girls go to school?  Maybe the reason Aria didn’t get into college is because these girls are always at coffeeshops or trying to solve murder mysteries!  GO STUDY! Do something related to your academics!

Where is this coffeeshop that coffee is only FIFTY CENTS?!  Is it 1991 again!?  I want coffee shops to only charge 50 cents!

Okay, the register printing Aria’s letter? I mean, are we even going to discuss this? Or should we just file this in the “stupid things that would never happen” folder a la Days of Our Lives when Marlena was possessed by the devil.

Wait the chick that Ezra hired to cater his party is now working at Emily’s coffeeshop?!?! Or did Ezra buy the entire coffeeshop and I missed it because apparently he owns it now?

Johnny is going to live in the barn and he pays his rent in coins….cool…he also looks like a character from Buffy circa 1998 with that short sleeved plaid shirt over his long sleeved shirt.

Also, the new tenant says to Spencer “So your boyfriends a cop?” and she replied “Yeah…he wasn’t always….”

Huh? Of course he wasn’t always a cop, no one was “always” their professional career…was that worth saying? That was such an awkward way to end the scene! Spencer says that, shoves her hands into her pocket and the scene lasts another second or two, then cuts abruptly.

Pastor Ted is back and has to meet with Hannah? Ohhhh is she going to tell on her mom for sleeping with Jason DiLaurentis?!

Jason looks creepy/weird as hell with a beard….what is going on with his facial hair??!

“You’re talking about 1017 aren’t you, that smell, ugh! They ought to do something about it, it’s really unsanitary!” That is the writers’ way of weaving a random 3rd party, Mrs. Horowitz, to tell Spencer that basically there’s a dead body in that unit.

#WhatsInTheBarrel just flashed on the screen! I have seen enough Breaking Bad to know what a yellow suit and a barrel mean! DEAD BODY IN ACID IS WHAT IT MEANS!

“So she’s either pickled or dissolved?” Caleb asks…..I don’t know about you guys but I am a very visual person and maybe it’s because I am battling a stomach bug but I gagged a LOT when he said that….barf….AHHH now I can’t get the image of pickled Mona out of my head!!!!!!!!!!!! THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS, THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHOCOLATE BROWNIES AND PIZZA AND 30 ROCK RERUNSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Hannah’s mom is kind of a hoe…no judgement but dating a pastor and cheating with your daughter’s friend? Hoe, fo sho.

So we see Aria’s contact card with Ezra’s name and number….

Who else out there called that number?  Just me? K, cool, just so you know it’s an ATT directory service number, nothing exciting haha!