Teen Wolf Season 1 Episode 3

1. At the start of the episode I already have issues! It starts on a school bus AT NIGHT with Scott and Allison about to have sex. How do they have access to school buses at night?
Why would you want your first time to be in a school bus?! Does this desire speak to a dark past for Scott???

Update: it was a dream. SCOTT’S dream. I think the school bus was a subconscious desire.

Update 2:WAS IT JUST A DREAM?!

Update 3: it WAS just a dream

2. Wait someone just called Scott an asswipe! Since when can you say asswipe on television!?

3. “You don’t know that!”
“Well I don’t not know that!!!”-real eloquent, Scott.

4. “ I’m just going to have to cancel my date with Allison” Scott says with regard to the possibility that he might MAUL his date.

But alas, his BFF Stiles disagrees, “no you can’t cancel your whole life !!!”

Ah to be in high school again, when one date is your WHOLE LIFE!

5. Wait, Allison asks Scott to hang out with her and another couple and now Stiles says that means Allison put him in the gay best friend category.

SINCE WHEN DOES A DOUBLE DATE DO THAT?!?!

IS THIS HOW HIGH SCHOOLERS REALLY THINK?!?!

6. Omg Allison’s friend, Lydia, is trying to be sexy for Allison’s hot dad:

7. UM, the popular girl just said (WITH DUCK FACE)

“Hmm, someone’s daddy’s little girl”.

SHE SAID THAT AFTER HER CREEPY/”SEDUCTIVE” POSE!

EW

WHAT IS SHE IMPLYING?!?!

8. The actor who plays Allison’s dad has a weird, slavic-ish accent but when I wikipedia-ed him, I found out that he is CANADIAN! There is NO excuse for that accent, Mr. Bourne (oh and his real name is definitely fake, right?)

9. I AM SO CONFUSED. Scott is really bad at bowling on his double date. Then Allison whispers in his ear to imagine her naked and he bowls a strike.

How does a boner make him a better bowler?

10. Oh, apparently Allison’s dad was a teen parent, too!

Allison was born in 1985 and her dad was born only 15 years earlier.
11. “Trust me, I do plenty of sucking just for his benefit”–Lydia.

Ew.

Gross.

No.

12. “That’s enough parenting for me for one night” Scott’s mom said as she walks away with her hands in the air giving two peace signs.

Oh man, Scott’s mom. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! The show has BARELY started, you CANNOT START LOSING IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Teen Wolf Season 1 Episode 2

1. My friend pointed out that our wolfy boy totally looks like a Clearasil commercial actor!

2. So there are “werewolf-hunters” and Allison’s dad is one of the ones that shot at Scott!
Yeeesh, talk about a girl who likes drama, her dad is a werewolf hunter?

RED FLAG, SCOTT! RED FLAG!!!

3. “ My grandmother runs faster than that. And she’s dead! Do you think you can run faster than her lifeless corpse?
Um, coach? That went from funny to downright awkward FAST!!!

4, SCOTT ALMOST TURNED ON THE LACROSSE FIELD!!!

5. Scott’s anger makes him turn, so now he can’t play his beloved lacrosse! WHATEVER WILL HE DO?!

Maybe I’m being insensitive but I think lacrosse is the least of his problems!

6. These teen shows conveniently have single moms who “work late shifts”.

Why?

Because then we don’t have to worry about that pesky little thing called parental supervision!

7. “I prefer my boyfriend in peek performance if you know what I mean” says someone who looks as annoying as she talks.

What high schooler says that?!

8. There is some sort of drama over this jacket of Allison’s but I am lost as to the implications of her ominous jacket.

10. This show is sooooo meta! They keep referencing other wolf movies!

11. I am SO CONFUSED. From what just happened I can only ascertain that wolfsbane makes the humans turn into werewolves.

But I thought wolfsbane was BAD for wolves!

GAH! Is this the MTV interpretation of werewolves?

12. Guys, I LITERALLY fast forwarded the entire lacrosse game!

I hated sports when I was in high school, I have zero desire to watch fictitious characters play.

13. I also fast forwarded the kissing between Scott and Allison, too! I am losing my patience with these slowwwww, lonnnngg scenes!

Teen Wolf Season 1 Episode 1

I am starting this entry with an issue. I know, I already have an issue with the show and I haven’t even seen it yet.

Here is the netflix summary:

When an animal bite turns a high schooler into a werewolf, he suddenly becomes a star athlete and a chick magnet but also faces a new set of problems.

Right off the bat, once the protagonist becomes a “star athlete” and “chick magnet” I don’t care WHAT his problems are! High school was the worst so anything that makes it remotely easier is a win, no matter what. Especially when that “new set of problems” means becoming something awesome, unique and mystical.

Now let’s watch!

1. Right off the bat I have more issues!

HE IS NOT A WOLF YET SO THERE ARE NO EXCUSES FOR A FILTHY SINK LIKE THIS! GET IT TOGETHER BOY!

2. “There are no wolves in California??”  REALLY?!

I THINK THIS WEBSITE WOULD DISAGREE!

3. We were just introduced to Allison Argent, the new girl!

The protagonist (no, I don’t know his name yet) is crushing.

This actress keeps pursing her lips a-la Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, it’s pissing me off!

Oh, and a little French Lesson–Argent in French means MONEY! ALLISON MONEY!

4. The main character is named Scott.  Sorry, it’s just such a generic name that I tuned it out.

5. “Maybe the killer moved the body”

“I hope he left my inhaler, those things are like, eighty bucks” -Scott, I get it, I have asthma, too.

But you also saw the dead, mangled body of a teenaged girl.  Maybe get your priorities straight?

Nah, I’m kidding, albuterol is expensive!

6. Apparently young, Lycan-Scott works in a vet’s office.  Was this IRONY by the writers?

The boy will become his own patient!

7. HA! He made a joke about the dog his crush hit with her car being litigious! Cute, Scott.

8. OH SWEET F*CKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY, the old, “eyelash on the cheek” shit?! ARE YOU FOR REAL, TEEN WOLF!?!?

HAVEN’T WE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT MOVE IN FILM AND TELEVISION?!

9.  Question for the writers: how does he sleep when he can hear EVERYTHING??

I mean, if the whistle in lacrosse deafened him then EVERY, SINGLE SOUND would be excruciating, no?

10. I love the lingo!  His lacrosse competitor asks him “where’d you get your juice?”

That’s slang for steroids, guys!

11. In the coach’s pep talk he says “everything else is cream cheese” to refer to things that don’t matter.

Um, coach? I am lactose intolerant but I WHOLEHEARTEDLY MISINTERPRETED THAT.

CREAM CHEESE IS F*CKING DELICIOUS. If by, “everything else is cream cheese” you mean, “everything else is delicious, creamy, heaven in your mouth”, then yes, yes we agree.

12. His best friend is trying to tell him that he is in fact a werewolf.  He says, “you’re cursed, man”.

I get his intent, but that is a BAD way of conveying your message, bro.

13. The woman who plays his mom is super young!  She gets all mad when Scott mentions “the sex talk” saying, “I am not going to be on a teen reality show” (presumably referencing Teen Mom).

But if you do the math, she would have had to give birth to him when she was 18.

Pot and Kettle, Mother, Pot and Kettle!

14. WAIT, he can talk and speak perfectly as a werewolf??

How? What? If he can speak then can’t he be reasoned with?

15. OMG THERE IS A SUPER HOT WEREWOLF HUNTER!

16. “The bite is a gift” Says Scott’s biter.

I kind of agree with the guy.  He has superhuman strength, heightened senses, and can use his tools now for working at the vet!  What not to love?