The Gloves Are On

“We’re here to chill not spill“-Hannah those two things go hand-in-hand, m’dear!

Um Sara is at the spa chillin’, too!

How stupid is Hannah, she deleted the exact recordings that were necessary, now her mom might lose her job and the police are looking into this! Ahhhh! Hannah you are so dumb. For real.

Silver jag? Didn’t Mad Men teach us that Jaguars are shitty cars?

Wait Spencer suddenly has a desire to tell the truth?  ALL she has done for 4 years is LIEEEE and now suddenly she be like “nah i’m good, imma be unnecessarily honest, tnx”

“I know you like to shop out of other people’s carts….maybe you’re more comfortable with lying than you think”-MELISSAAAAAA IS BACK and Spencer just got rekt.

Spencer IS the worst and Melissa knows better than anyone how much Spencer likes other women’s men!

“Ezra there’s some horrifying images”-Aria on the contents of Ezra’s thumb drive. Um. What? Where is this going? Is Ezra a pedo now? How horrifying can the images be?!  ARIA YOU BETTER HAVE SCREENSHOTTED THAT SHIT!

“Ezra likes small women get a grip!“-So are we getting a clue as to those horrifying images….

This is what Aria found on Ezra’s thumbdrive:

“I think you need to relax”-Reporter says this to Spencer, truer words have never been spoken.

“I’ve heard of inner-circles but leaving your daughter out, that’s cold.”-This reporter is my favorite, after Queen Melissa of course!

WHA?! Emily spent ALL THE MONEY her dad left her!? And now Emily is donating her eggs!? SHIT IS HEAVY! Like this is legit stuff people consider when they go broke. Wow. I can’t decide if I am proud of the show for keeping this situation real or disappointed because my expectations are fantasy-level-unrealistic. What’s next, Emily finding out ways to refinance her leftover student loans? Signing up for obamacare?

Lucas is lying a lot for Hannah, despite his poor automotive choice he’s a good guy!

“Honest? You are not asking me to change your grade you are asking me to confess to murder.“-Ezra, changing grades isn’s exactly cool either, bro.

I love that when Ezra yells at the women who intruded into his home accusing him of murder, they act incredibly victimized and scared. Like really, what did y’all expect?

Wait but really, did Ezra just confess to killing Charles/Charlotte or is he saying he’s just happy that she’s dead??!

AHHHHH SPENCER AND CALEB?! NOOOOO! GROSS! NOOOOOO! WHY IS HE CARESSING HER!?!?! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!

PLL: Game Over, Charles

Let’s be honest, I fast forwarded this episode to the key moment where the hooded figure was unveiled.

This show is SO twisted.  CeCe is Charles and CeCe dated Jason….aka INCEST?!

So we are to believe that the DeLaurentises left Charles, a, what, 4-year-old child, to watch their infant daughter.  Then, when the daughter cried and the 4-year-old tried to draw a bath for his baby sister and Radley psychiatrists were like “oh totes, he’s totes a psychopath, let’s admit this small child.”?! NO. THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN!

Oh so Mr. DeLaurentis was anti-trans and that’s why he sent Charles away to a medical facility that approved his admission, makes sense #NOITDOESNOT

So did their mom pay for gender reassignment surgery? Or was that covered under their health insurance plan #itwasnt

Side note: Jason has terrible posture.

“I know what you’re gonna say, it’s screwed up that I dated my brother” Sibling consanguinity is, ya know….not a good idea.

“Cece’s the real wolf of walstreet, she never made a bad investment” –That’s how they’re going to explain the buttloads of money A has to do all this crazy stuff?  1. At what age did she begin investing and 2. What was her initial capital investment to become a crazy millionaire?!  I know, I need to keep my reality in state of perpetual….nonexistence when I watch this show, but I have so many questions!

“It felt great to succeed at something!”-THAT is CeCe’s explanation for continuing the game?! But she is a MILLIONAIRE, if that’s not WINNING, then what is?!

Sara has been in on it all along! I KNEW IT! She transitioned too well from Radley to Emily’s bed.

“A always has an escape plan”-Then why were you in an underground bunker for 3 weeks, Spencer? Hmmmm?

This is actually somewhat heartbreaking, watching CeCe mourn her mom. Watching her spiral. That’s actually so sad. Sad emoji time 😦

Sara sounds…British when she barks orders at the girls.

Soooo…what now? We have this maudlin scene with the girls saying goodbye but then what? Is Charlotte in a high security prison?

OH 5 YEARS LATER! AHHHHH! NEW TWIST!

A few people I’ve talked to have said they are very upset with the finale but honestly, I feel like this is the best way for it to end this season and be able to continue into other seasons.

What do you guys think??

PLL: Last Dance

THIS Tweet tonight caught my eye and I cannot stop laughing:

The #PLLMoms were concerned about their daughters for .5 seconds before they got drunk and forgot to care. That sums up the whole series.

— Catherine Powell (@CatherinePowell) August 5, 2015

While the title of this episode alone is ominous, the fact that they are attending prom is foreboding of terrible, awful, amazing things to come.

“And I don’t entirely disagree.“–So Emily’s mom agrees?  Just needed to clarify that.

Twinkly lights! That’s what Emily said she wanted! A prom with twinkly lights! Stop bitching and accept your fate, girls! This is the price of being friends with Allison.

Oh hey, Allison’s 417 year old police officer boyfriend entered the scene looking old AF as per usual.

EWWWWWW Allison’s brother just asked her to prom! INCEST!

LOL @Aria’s mom saying she’s frustrated about Charles because she “need[s] a sandwich”. She might be hangry or she might have PTSD.

Spencer’s mom is a LUSH! She has this obnoxiously coquettish smirk and says “well, I’m not drinking” as she pours herself a hefty glass of cab. LOVE IT!

Caption Contest! What is Ezra thinking while taking this picture:

My guess? “Mmmmm fresh meat….smells like”...well I will let this famous quote from House Party finish that line for me.

Or maybe “This one is going in the spank bank”.  I’m not sure which one is more Ezra, ya know?

WHOA Hannah’s make up looks WACK! She is over bronzed and eyes are over-racooned!

Allison’s dress/look is my absolute, 100% favorite! She looks like cinderella+belle combined!

Emily, you cannot wear your own crown to prom, that’s…weird.  I guess these girls aren’t properly socialized so it’s not her fault. It IS a way to make your school yearbook’s worst dressed list.

IT’S CHARLES! THEY ARE AT THE HOUSE WITH CHARLES! Then who is at prom with Allison?? Bethanny?? Is she secretly alive??  I mean, I guess that could be the twist but how did they fake HER body?? HOW MANY DENTAL RECORDS CAN CHARLES AND HIS ENDLESS RESOURCES FAKE!?

CALEB IS AN INFORMATION RISK ANALYST!!!??! HE IS GOING TO MAKE ENOUGH TO COVER HANNAH’S TUITION AND RENT IN NYC?!  Listen, my friend was a DOCTOR in NYC and I know how rent there works. Unless these kids are going to move to the projects of NJ and pretend they live in NYC “because it’s totally just, like, a 30 minute drive” then this show IS BEYOND SUSPENDED REALITY! For some reason this part of the show is making me so angry!

‘CLARK is an undercover cop‘ she gasped in feigned surprised. Moving on….

“Shouldn’t we call the police?”–Emily, Toby takes umbrage to that as he says “No I already called for backup” aka SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

“We had one job tonight, one. To keep them safe”-YES, MOMS OF WINE COUNTRY, you had ONE FREAKING JOB and you failed because you are self absorbed, terrible parents and I can only hope that DCFS takes over as you are ALL FAILURES.

s

Pretty Little Liars-Through a Glass, Darkly

Is the title of this episode a reference to the 2006 Keanu Reeves’ movie A Scanner, Darkly?  Are we going to see a loss of identity, undercover cops?

The new episode starts with Mona’s funeral.  I am confused as to the leis….

OMG MONA’S MOM SLAPPED ALLI, SUPER HARD! OMG! I love it! Allison looks displeased….ruh roh guys, I smell trouble…..

Hannah is such an amazing girl. She’s doing Mona’s mom’s dishes and cleaning!  You know, Hannah is the moral compass, comedic relief and just best character on this show.

Mona’s mom hands Hannah a stuffed dog and says “Hannah…I want you to take care of this.”  Is Mona’s mom having some sort of psychotic break or is that dog stuffed with a hidden camera because she’s secretly a pervert that wants to watch Hannah change at home (seriously, with this show, anything is possible).

I’m sorry, Toby being a cop is comical!  He’s sitting here talking to Detective Liz Cruz (Nip/Tuck fans get that reference) and hypothesizing murder theories and she’s acting like he revealed some amazing information….really, as my mom would say about a young looking person “His breath still smells of breastmilk.” (meaning he’s a baby and looks like it…it sounds more legit in farsi, I swear!)

Aria was rejected from Oberlin…sad, the world just lost their next Lena Dunham!

Allison, “You don’t have to do that–run from me.”  Allison must be bonkers if she thinks the girls should trust her.  Should we go through the list of things she has done to lose trust (faking her own death, seducing a college student named Ezra, extorting adults for money, paying people off for confessions….she’s a real C U Next Tuesday, if ya get me).

Ohhh I forgot Aria’s brother was dating Mona!!!!! He has grown so much!

What is this creepy indoor mausoleum??! Is everyone in Rosewood buried there??  Why is the old lady sniffing the “grave”? WHY IS SHE SNIFFING IT?!

Old lady takes Mona’s stuffed toy and smiles “Little bunchy…that’s his name” Did I hear that right??

Spencer is begging Jason DiLaurentis for help, “I know she’s your sister, but so am I!”-Dang I keep forgetting these little tidbits like Spencer’s dad’s affair.

Wait is there a magical component of the mausoleum?!  There is a ghostly wind!! Ahhhhh! Roses are dying at once! THERE IS MAGIC ON PLL!!!!!!!!!!!  Why isn’t Hannah freaking out?!

” Aria your Sudoku prowess doesn’t exactly qualify you to help out with this kind of stuff.” Someone needs to tell Caleb how hacking works (hint, it is unrelated to Sudoku).

Why is Aria acting like Oberlin is basically the easiest school to get into?? She’s SO SURPRISED that she didn’t get in that she thinks it could be due in part to A? No, you didn’t get in because all you do is pretend to be a detective and sleep with men who are legally off limits, then you can’t pretend your lack of studying is an injustice!

“That camera was pointed right at it, it must have seen what happened!” –Emily, just because a camera “sees” something, it does not mean that it’s recording the event.  It needs to be on and recording to capture the moment, not just pointed right at it.

Mrs. Grunwald! That’s the old lady’s name! Huh, I don’t remember her having a name before this episode….

Wow, the camera captured Mona’s murder! It shows a girl with long blonde hair attacking Mona, aka Allison aka Jason LIED!

Whoa Allison isn’t even denying it! Ahhhhh she’s getting arrested!

Wait Paige is leaving because of Allison? Why did I forget that? I thought she was going to college??

PLL: Holiday Special

Is Hannah’s character clinically retarded now? She’s confusing court jesters with the word gesture?!

This is Joey-syndrome (90s kids get props for remembering this!)!

And everyone laughs like Hannah is soooooo silly! She needs attention and probably an assisted living nurse

“Wishes don’t come true, otherwise people wouldn’t die!” Hannah

“I’d rather dance on dead monkeys than go to Alli’s ball.” Aria, why would you even say that? That’s really selfish!

Mona has legal “affairs”? She’s 17!!!! What’s 17 year old had affairs!!!!! Did she have a will?!! Lies! If you were her parents wouldn’t you just open it and toss it, thinking it was just a silly game and I had a whole funeral to plan and my life was over.

Did Aria ask the Santa for a snow globe and he HAPPENED to give one with their faces in it that A planted?! NO! This is not how real life works!

Toby is in a leg cast looking through a camera on zoom! How Hitchcock of the writers! Tryin to class up the joint, I see. Although, this show is so vapid that I’m sure they’re accidentally making a Disturbia reference.

High school students dressing as sexy Santa for foreplay is just flat out gross. Call me old-fashioned but I prefer sexy santas as kittens or puppies and not sexy, just santas.

Alli’s mini-me says “This blows, let’s get out of here, losers!” What 9 year-old talks like that??

“Mean girls stay mean.” Truer words have never been spoken (unless you count that time I was eating chocolate cake and screamed “CHOCOLATE IS THE BEST CREATION ON THE PLANET!“)

“I think my mom is still watching out for me.” Allison are you on CRACK?! That bitch hated you!

Why did Hannah have to run the Jack-in-the-box….alone….in the dark? Does she WANT to die of a heart attack?!!

Wait isn’t Toby a rookie cop?! Doesn’t he have a gun?! WHY DOESNT HE GUN DOWN THE KILLED ?! Stop using the flash on your SLR AND GUN THAT MAN DOWN!!

This episode ends with the most DISTURBING image in my a “family” show EVER! A teacher and his students (Toby being a past student) posing nearly nude for their lovers ALL TOGETHER?!! EWWWWW

PLL: Scream for Me

YES, I am aware this is a week late, sorry!

Haha A circled all the notes on the sheet music in the key of A.  Wouldn’t it be hilarious if the girls couldn’t read sheet music (I mean, have we seen them go to All State? #ChorusNerdsUnite!) and so they were just staring at the sheet music, shrugged and tossed it in the trash? HAHAHA WOULDN’T THAT BE SO MUCH MORE HILARIOUS THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS SHOW?!! HAHAHA?!????

A beer can falls out of Hannah’s locker?  SO are we to believe that Hannah came to school, popped open a can of beer in the bathroom and instead of putting it in the trash where no one would know it’s hers, she carries it back to stash into her locker?  Oh and she must have cleaned the can out because if she didn’t people would be able to smell the beer for MILES! Not buying, PLL.

Ummmm Caleb is an enabler! FULL ON ENABLER! What happened to our knight in shining armour!?

SYDNEY’S PARENTS OWN A FROZEN YOGURT CHAIN!?!?!?! THAT’S THE BEST THING EVER!  There should be a spin-off about the girls traveling the country to find A who happens to be putting her code in froyo! THAT would be awesome!

Why does Spencer tell Toby he can’t just “up and be a cop”? Is she the police chief now?

Oh the guy in the coffeeshop? Aria’s step-dad-to-be?  The one giving Hannah the pedo-eyes? He’s gonna rape her, right? That’s what the show is insinuating? The close up shot of his hand on her lower back, offering to help hide her drinking if she helps him WINK WINK F*CKING WINK INSINUATIONS.

Why are the girls being SO SO mean to Hannah?  Not only is she clearly suffering but she was clearly creeped on by the guy but her friends, rather than showing empathy, say she must have been drunk?  Nice.

All of these girls officially suck. They are so beyond cruel to each other in the most unnecessary ways.  Rather than support each other and lift each other up they are constantly berating and belittling each other!

OMG RAPEY-COFFEE-ARIAS-STEPDAD just got into Hannah’s car!  “I saw you out here and thought we could talk…I just wasn’t sure what your takeaway from yesterday was. I wasn’t sure if you were feeling the same vibe as me but I kind of think you were…” THEN HE WROTE HIS # DOWN ON PAPER FOR HER AND SAYS “Hit me up.”

WTF. NO! STOP! ABC FAMILY PLEASE STOP WITH THE STATUTORY RAPE AND REGULAR RAPE AS WELL PLEASE?!

Thanks, Society.

WOW Aria is being SO SO SO MEAN! Hannah told her about daddy-dearest and Aria accuses Hannah of being trashed.  Basically all of these girls except for Hannah who, sure, has poor coping skills, are the worst!

“Go, study hard, graduate early, with my parents splitting up…it’s getting so much worse…”-SPENCER pulls a 180 on Toby now saying he should, to quote her “up and be a cop!”  How beneficial to SPENCER. How fucking self absorbed is the bitch?! Her opinion changes at will based on how the situation benefits HER and HER ALONE.

 

PLL: The Silence of E Lamb

Why is everyone scared of Emily’s mom?

I LOVE HANNAH’S NEW PUNK ROCK LOOK!!!!!!!!!!

Whoaaaa when Hannah reaches for Caleb’s fries he gives her a death stare. Gawd, Cale-ub, Hannah’s stressed, k? Don’t be so judgy about her eating a few fries! Ugh, MEN! #amiright?

Is it just me or is Caleb REALLY, like REALLY made up, right? Like too much foundation, guy-liner and bronzer. He looks super pretty, though!

“I just know you from what you left behind…like a tornado…“–Deep metaphor, Caleb. You should be a writer.

“Dad wants to sell the house. The house Melissa, this is our home.”- Spencer, I’m confused, can you clarify for me? What does dad want to sell?

Ohhhhhh Caleb brought over beers to celebrate being a rebel, he’s SOOOOOOOO BAAAADDD! Oh he also brought his perfectly made-up face! Just take a gander at his visage:
>

“What you gonna do little girl when you got no hands?”-Rhonda is pretty rad, I love her.

“Maybe you can have a headache in 2 weeks along with the cramps, am I right?”–HOW DOES EMILY KNOW HANNAH’S PERIOD CYCLE?!?!!

OMFG….So Aria is in Rhonda’s room and has to hide under her bed and Rhonda comes in and lays down on the bed and the directors made a point of showing how the bed bows and goes down a lot .  That’s really freaking mean!  WTH!  So Rhonda has curves, who cares! That is so mean to make a point of showing how the bed might crush Aria! ABC Family is becoming (more) very brass and insensitive!

This episode is ridiculous!  Emily’s mom is having all the TEENAGE girls over and she’s serving VODKA?! She’s serving HARD LIQUOR to minors??  WHAT PLANET are we on where that’s something that should be televised as cool??  Are we going to next show teens smoking and make it look “cool“?

And it’s not like Emily’s mom has been painted as a hippy a la Maya’s mom, or that she’s negligent.  So it’s just an ordinary mom serving hard liquor to kids.  Where’s the absinthe, ma??

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Allison is telling Hannah not to date Caleb so that Alli can have aaaallll her little minions all to herself!  What a wench! They should drop her.

Ohhhhhhh Caleb and Hannah kisssssssssss! WOOT! Guys, he’s acting super effeminate even when kissing Hannah!  What is going on with Caleb?!

“She was drinking”-Emily’s said.

“In front of your mom?!”-Aria asks, shocked.  Ummmm, Aria–EMILY’S MOM PROVIDED THE ALCOHOL!! Emily conveniently leaves that part out.

 

I’m confused as to why Hannah didn’t get the text.  Also, who’s engagement party invitation are we looking at, who are Zack and Ella and who is the person it’s addressed to, Pam Fields?!?!?! SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<br /

PLL: Run, Ali, Run

We open with A being back.

Isn’t it obvious that the new A is Mona?? Are we supposed to think it’s someone else? If so, WHY?! What clues have told us that A is anyone BUT Mona?

“Why now?” Ali asks.

“That’s what we have to find out”-SPENCER, NO! Now it’s time to tell the cops! We know that Allison is alive and so NOW what’s holding us back from telling the cops?

Caleb is back and ever the voice of reason, he agrees with me! Tell the cops!!

I don’t understand why Aria never told the police that she killed Shauna anyways, it was SELF DEFENSE AND THERE WERE WITNESSES!!!! My god, the girl had a GUN in her hand! Now she looks guilty as f*ck!

“I would never take a life to cover up what you did!”-Ohhhh Spencer BURRRRNNNN! Your dad doesn’t love you that much!

So Spencer’s dad was ALLEGEDLY at the Lakehouse with Melissa the night Mrs. D was killed….but wouldn’t say doing what…..creeepyyyyyyy AND incesssssstttyyyyyyyyyyy! I’m telling you guys, Melissa and the dad have a Woody Allen-Soon Yi thing going on.

Wait A SNAPCHATTED Allison a video of burying her dead mom?!! Even for A that seems weird…also makes me think that Mona is definitely in on it! No wealthy (I assume A is a bazillionaire) adult in their right mind would use SNAPCHAT.

Ezra looks like a lovesick puppy….a 27-year-old lovesick puppy who misses his 16-17 year old prey…..so, erm, sweet?

Whoever this Bethany chick is, she must have HATED Mrs.D because look at the unflattering picture Bethany drew:

Wait, Alli’s dad left her alone for the night?! You think your daughter is DEAD, she comes back, your wife DIES, the house down the block blows up and yet you feel totally comfortable leaving your daughter home alone?!!? REALLY?! Dang Alli, guess your dad doesn’t love you that much….you can join Spencer in that club….

I don’t know how I feel about Caleb’s new sideswept Bieber-do….

Pretty Little Liars: Whirly Girlie

“Ali-are we in agreement?”-Spencer needs to friggin’ tone it down. Is she trying to get verbal confirmation, like she’s gonna enforce any of this if (when) Ali lies?

“I know who you are”-Detective BlahBlahWhoCares says. Yeah cause hes’ probably using her pictures as porn. DON’T JUDGE ME! THIS SHOW MADE ME THE WAY I AM! I AM NOT A MONSTER—IT IS!

“Mom, she just wants to move on, okay? Yes, it was a nightmare but we need it to end!”-Why are these girls SO ANNOYED that their moms have questions about them running away and finding their friend who’s been dead and buried for 2 years? Like is it SO SHOCKING that you parents questioned your disappearance? Or your dead friend?

“Is Allison alive and in her house?”-Aria’s brother asks a VERY specific question–the kind of question that makes me think he wants to know for a specific reason, like, to stab her….at her house….

“We’re back in planet Allison…why is she still controlling us?”-Ohhhhhh methinks Spencer liked being the one in control…..

SO Spencer’s neighbor throws a roll of toilet paper out the window with a message to the girls on it. They act so scared and surprised and ask “who sent this?!” and their neighbor draws a question mark on the window in response.  The window has a LOT of condensation inside, by the way.  BUT ANYWAYS, I DIGRESS–> When the neighbor shut the door they act like all hope is lost.  Cant they knock on their neighbor’s door and ask again in the morning? That wasn’t a phantom neighbor, was it?

So Aria is woken up by a violin playing something Shauna used to play or something else stupid.  But here’s my thing–why doesn’t anyone else notice this? Why don’t her neighbors complain about the noise? Wouldn’t the HOA put a stop to this?

Why is Jason so angry?????  He watched Allison SLEEP?!?! Dude, again, maybe I’m watching Game of Thrones but is he gonna like….try to marry her?  Also, why doesn’t she tell her dad about this? He seems legit.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW why is Toby’s hair slicked back??!

“I have to go home and change my underwear!”– The reason Hannah is the best character!

I don’t know if it’s the combination of his slicked back hair and pale skin, but I THINK, I’m not sure, but I THINK Toby is a vampire. 

“I don’t have to hide. You do. And you’re gonna wish you stayed dead.”-So I get that Mona saying this is supposed to be a threat BUUUUUUT when you say that without a disguise and walk away, then can’t Allison turn around and call the cops?  Then the cops can deal with Mona’s threats and Allison doesn’t have to keep trying to act like a girl who is scared (she keeps blinking and fluttering her eyelashes as though THAT is what is going to convey to the viewer that she is afraid, not the ominous music).

MY NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER FINDS ALLISON’S DEAD MOM! Oh yeah, Ali’s mom is dead, y’all.

Here’s the new hero and my current favorite character, Pepe:

 

 

Pretty Little Liars: Winter Finale

They are trying to MILK this episode for time! The first 5 minutes are laden with dramatic-pauses.

MELISSA IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSS! I was so sad after Torrey Devitto’s divorce so I am glad she’s making her own money/career!

Allison drugged her friends?? Wut? I am SO CONFUSED.

Allison: “What does “nat” stand for anyways? Need a therapist” (smirks self appreciatively)

Oh the humor of a 14 year old. Maybe that bad joke is why someone tried to kill her.

Wait I zoned out 100000%, Spencer is being accused of killing whom? Allison? No seriously, what the fuck is going on?

Wait Allison was buried alive???? She was drugged and buried alive?? BY HER MOM!??!

This goes back to the theory I had last year that Allison’s mom is A!!!!!!!!!!

Allison: “You don’t have to be a loser, Mona”–Man Alli is full of sage advice!

What did Melissa just whisper sensually to her dad??

I’m honestly confused. Ezra is offended that Alli lied about her age but then he knowingly sleeps with Aria who was the SAME FRIGGIN AGE AS ALLI and he’s cool with it? Is this some weird, Fitzgeraldian existential crisis he’s having?

I feel like this show would not exist if, from the start, someone thought to dial 9-1-1 on their phone and not bribed the cops with sex? Like if someone called the police and just stepped back and let them handle this, NONE OF THIS SHOW WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. The reason the police exist is the deter crime, no? But in Rosewood we have this little town where no one calls the police so there is no deterrence, thus, crime.

It’s like Rosewood is the Hellmouth but without the awesome fight scenes and Spike (the best part of the Hellmouth).

Guys. Allison just used the word “reprieve”. I don’t even know how to spell it (thank you auto-correct) and I went to law school, yet a high school drop out knows how to use it? Ugh, what am I doing with my life?!?!?!!??!!!

DOES HANNAH EVEN KNOW how to use a gun? That girl can barely string together a coherent sentence let alone safely discharge a firearm.

THIS SHOW IS SO EXHAUSTING! I don’t care who A is anymore! I just hope that A succeeds at torturing these girls the way they have been torturing me!

I can’t even muster the energy I just hope they all die and I hope it’s Melissa and wren or Melissa and Ian or Melissa and SOME GUY, hell, maybe a guy that Spencer HASN’T tried to have sex with.

Moral of the story, I just want Melissa to be happy.