Or something scary! I am not the only one who has noticed that homegirl hasn’t aged in the past 20 years!
This is her now:
Yep, she looks better than I ever have at any stage of aging and development.
I am going to go slather on SPF 10000 and research “Benjamin Buttoning”.
Hannah put black streaks in her hair? It looks kind of like cruella deville, right?
Wait weren’t the police called to the scene of shaunas death? Then why did Mona say she was transferred back to georgia? I’m confused (which should be the title of this show)
OMG is this guy playing Allison’s dad acting for the first time?!! He’s the worst! He’s acting like he’s talking to a 9 month old. Do you think the director is in the sidelines shouting at him “She’s 17! She’s not a newborn baby! Speak to her like a normal human being!”
Spencer’s parents are totes getting a divorce dude. Spencer’s mom slept on the couch.
“How much longer is our yard going to be a crime scene?!” #richpeopleproblems #rosewoodproblems
Who is this new swimmer girl? STFU new girl!
Ohhhh Emily ignored Allison’s call! Character development!
Mona is just STARING at the girls like a psychopath! By the way, this happens throughout the entire episode, nonstop.
“You need to take a psychological selfie”–Kids say the darndest things! AHAAHAHAH….no but really, is that how teenagers talk? Ugh.
Allison just signed her text to Emily as “-Allison”-
isn’t this supposed to be a girl in 2014? The only other people I know do that are my parents for whom English is the second language. So unless Allison’s character is now a 62 year old Persian man, I’m not buying it.
OH wait Allison’s dad is implying that she was raped! How is a wholesome family network like ABC Family going to tackle that? I hope better than they did the statutory rape story line……
Oh shaunas last name is Fring? Like GUSTAVO FRING FROM BREAKING BAD?!! CROSSOVER SHOWS! SPINOFF!
WAIT THERE’s A VIDEO FROM SHAUNAS FUNERAL?!! WHO POSTS VIDEOS OF FUNERALS?!!! IS THIS A THING NOW?! SOMEONE EXPLAIN!!!!
Paige is wearing a tank top and dang girl is FIT! Dem guns look great, git gurl!
There’s a tin of rat poison in the garage with the receipt conveniently taped to the side. The implication is gonna be that Allison’s mom was killed with the poison and oh my thank goodness the receipt is taped on the side so they can trace who bought it back to….my guess is Spencer’s dad!
“You have quite powerful lungs my lady!” Her doctor is gonna murder her, right? He’s gauging how to suppress the scream from those lungs, right? Right.
“Scoot down at the end of the table so I can take a better look at it.” IS HE TALKING ABOUT HER PELVIC EXAM???
Oh wait he’s not, just a cut on her knee. But still, this doctor sounds so creepy!!!!
“Hannah once you know something, you can’t unknown it….”–Spoken like a true teenager and not the 62 year old Persian man I was beginning to suspect you were.
Why does Spencer need to google if rat poison kills? Isn’t that pretty obvious??
Mona is my new favorite character, I think.
I feel like people don’t post videos of funerals for this EXACT REASON, because people on the internet get creepy and will just watch your loved ones in a casket on repeat like Aria.
What’s Ezra’s role in a of this? Are we cool with him now? But didn’t he pretended to not know who aria was at a restaurant when he had sex with her, even though he KNEW she was 15? So even though he’s not A, he’s still creepy as fuck right?! RIGHT?!!
Oh no! Hannah is going back to her Mona-stealing ways!!!!
Spencer cuts herself on a knife and I almost expect the boy to start foaming at the mouth and looking torn….I think I’m conflating vampire diaries with this show….
Allison shows Emily a child’s pink polka dot backpack and says with pride “my dad got it for me!”
Again, Allison’s dad not understanding that she’s not a child who needs a Lisa Frank backpack (but for real, Lisa Frank was the shit.)
As you guys know, I love television. Living in Atlanta I have gotten to meet and see many celebrities out and about.
So the other day when I ran into Nina Dobrev, I got excited and tried to say hi. Being Atlanta, she was not hounded by paparazzi, and no one seemed to be aware that she was remotely important.
She was smoking a cigarette (strike 1) on the corner on a gorgeous Atlanta Saturday. When I asked “you’re Nina Dobrev, right?” she blew a puff of smoke in the air (strike 2), hopped into a limo, and left. The limo took her two blocks away to what I am assuming is her apartment. TWO BLOCKS (strike 3).
Listen, I get that it’s hard to be a whiny protagonist on a show whose audience is mostly 14-year old girls (and me! Dont forget me!) but being less of a bitch will get you far, especially in the south. Maybe I was spoiled by John Mayer’s willingness to converse with me, Retta’s willingness to take a picture with me AND tweet me back, her own BOYFRIEND tweeted me with regards to the work I do for his foundation,and even Alec Baldwin grunted a hello instead of punching me!
ALEC BALDWIN was nicer to me than Nina Dobrev. Nina, what is your claim to fame? 4 seasons of a show that airs on the CW and a Canadian teen drama with Drake as a paraplegic. ALEC BALDWIN. He was nominated for a MOTHERFUCKING OSCAR. He could have punched me and I would have been okay with it!
But you cannot blow your =cancer stick in my direction and hop into a limo to drive TWO BLOCKS and expect me to be happy for what? Being in your presence? No, ma’am. No.
This here is the south. I may be a foreigner in this country but I was born in Lafayette Louisiana and raised in Georgia, you cannot be so rude. You have to at least be PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, the south’s version of Northerners being realistic. You could have rolled your eyes and said yes, acknowledging my presence. But to blow smoke in my direction and take a limo two blocks? No. Ew.
I am OFFICIALLY boycotting Vampire Diaries.
………………..
…..
Just kidding. What would I do with my free time if I cut out one of my most vital bull-shit shows? What are the consequences of Nina’s actions? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So, yeah….you might even say this entire blog entry was a waste of time and energy because nothing is going to happen.
So…..erm…..goodnight? I’m struggling with how to end this………..
(awkward silence as I back out of the room)
I AM FREAKING OUT!
I have watched Vampire Diaries for all of a month now (obviously, I finished all the episodes).
So I saw this re-run and I thought, “man, the lady that plays Bonnie’s grandmother looks like Whitney from A Different World, but obviously it cannot be her”
We found out about a stash of videos that show someone spying on the girls as young girls changing, naked, etc.
WE ALSO FIND OUT THAT JENNA HAS BEEN RAPING TOBY!
I am so glad this show airs on a “Family” network.
1. Ezra just got a job as a professor. He tells Aria “I can take you out to coffee, we can go out in public.”
IT IS STILL STATUTORY RAPE! BEING A PROFESSOR DOES NOT SOMEHOW MAKE HER 18!
2. Oh guys, Toby is reading a Jack Kerouac novel. He is soooooooo dreamy. I’m not going to pretend that I know a lot about Jack Kerouac but for some reason, a character on this show reading his book bothers me.
3. The girls rush to save Spencer. They are running through the building SCREAMING her name annd she is just sitting there. Allegedly in “shock”. THERE ARE THREE PEOPLE TRYING TO FIND YOU IN THIS BUILDING AND YOU ARE JUST SITTING. Not captive. Not playing words with friends. Just, sitting. Spencer is the WORST!
1. Aria finds suspect pictures on Ezra’s “Facebook” so rather than ask him about it, she creates a fake Facebook account and adds his “friend”. #mature #ohwaityoure16
2. Ohhhh Clair Holt is on this episode! I loved her on Vampire Diaries!
3. “What’s bothering you more, the photo or the fact that you and I can’t take a picture like that?” Said Ezra, THE ADULT MALE SLEEPING WITH HIS 16 YEAR OLD STUDENT!
I dunno who I hate more, Ezra or Spencer!!!!
4. Spencer got a text from an unknown number that said “This is a borrowed phone mind I meet me inside-Toby” INSIDE MEANING INSIDE THE FUN HOUSE!!
Has Spencer never seen any horror movie ever? NEVER GO INTO A FUNHOUSE ALONE!!!
5. She just walked into a funhouse mechanical/tech room looking for Toby…WHO IS THI GIRL?! WHY WOULD TOBY HIDE THERE FOR YOU?!
6. CREEPIEST COUPLES PICTURE, EVER:
1. Starts with Hannah coming home from the hospital. She says she was in the hospital for three weeks.
THREE WEEKS! What hospital holds a patient for observation for a broken leg?!
2. “This semester I’m going from honor roll to toilet roll“….WHAT DID HE USE TO WIPE HIS ASS WHEN HE WASNT ON HONOR ROLL?!
3. “Thank you, Veronica Mars” said Hannah, sarcasm oozing from her voice.–Referencing a superior show does not make your show better!
So it’s summer and even though I am interning, I am also watching a lot of television.
I have exhausted all of my reality television options. I am all caught up on Kardashians, Real Housewives of Orange County, etc. I actually cannot watch Real Housewives of NJ anymore because it makes me sad and New York feels fake.
SO I watched Mad Men, start to finish, Vampire Diaries, start to finish, and Sherlock Season 2.
My friend suggested Pretty Little Liars. She said that the show had a CW/WB feel that I would be comfortable with.
SO, I’ve begun and I am on episode 9. I take issue with many things in this short span and I will keep updating on my issues:
1. Why don’t the girls on “Pretty Little Liars” ever reply to the texts from the ominous “A”?
2. WHY does this show and others like it have bars that are mainly occupied by the 3-5 title protagonists and the nemesis in the corner (Vampire Diaries with it’s Mystic Grill) ?
3. The 24yr old teacher had a one night stand with his 16yr old student, then later, after he’s had time to realize the gravity of the situation he is in, decides to throw caution to the wind “so i can be with you”. This should explain itself.
4. Why do the girls in this show insist on using BOTH HANDS to drink out of their mugs? YOU CAN USE ONE HAND!
Update:
5. Someone just used the line “take my Andrew Jacksons and introduce them to your Benjamin Franklins”
6. Hannah’s mom just sent a fax and Aria’s dad said “I’m impressed, you could do brain surgery with those hands.” NO YOU CANT! IT’S A FAX! Also, who has fax “emergencies” in 2012??
7. Sometimes when these girls say “A” a lot (referring to the nemesis), I think they’re Canadians….
8. OMG! WHY DOES SPENCER KEEP KISSING HER SISTER’S BOYFRIENDS/FIANCEES?! She is the WORST! ALSO, why are they ALL drawn to her mouth! Do they taste like Macallan ?!
9. “You and I hating each other has become a lot of work:”-Spencer’s older sister
“I didnt know we hated each other”-Spencer.
REALLY SPENCER?! REALLY?! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD STEAL YOUR SISTER’S BOYFRIENDS AND FIANCEES AND SHE’D LOVE YOU?! UGH
10. Is anyone else tired of Bianca Lawson‘s old ass pretending to be in high school? She was in high school 14 years ago on BUFFY! THE JIG IS UP! You are in your 30s!
Sociallylawkward's Blog 