I know you usually read my blog for my silly commentary on teen dramas, but I have a point to make after which I will throw my soapbox out the window and cry when I realize that I forgot to put my car in the garage and hope my insurance covers soapbox damage.
I have noticed a trend in America. We love our extremes. We either don’t eat at all, or we over eat. We eat carbs or we are totally carb-free. We do a paleo-diet or we do a juice cleanse.
Now we do this with the female body. You are either “juicy” or “model-esque“.
All of these opposing views have me wondering: Why can’t we celebrate the size 6-12s?
Why are there no runway models who rock their size 10 bodies for Karl Lagerfeld? Because in America we value the extremes. We love Tess Holliday, the model who started #effyourbeautystandards or we aspire to be a member of Taylor Swift’s model-posse.
Think about Pretty Little Liars. The actress that plays Allison DeLaurentis recently had to defend her weight gain to the public. The actress is neither obese nor underweight. She is not a waif and she is not a plus-sized model and therefore she must defend her weight to the public, right?
Can we please stop body-shaming women who do not fit the two molds that media tells us are the 2 categories of women? Let’s stop commenting on their weight entirely.
I am guilty of this myself. A friend is trying to lose weight so when I see them and notice weight loss I proclaim “Omg you look so skinny!” It’s ingrained in me to think that is the most encouraging thing to say.
Conversely, my skinny friends are sensitive to this because they cannot help it, they are naturally thin and the constant comments on their weight is upsetting. It reaffirms to them that they must be thin because they cannot be “curvy” or they get told to “eat a burger” as though one 1200 calorie indulgence will make them grow a butt or breasts (the only acceptable meat on a woman in our society).
Again, I am guilty of this. Because society says women should either be curvy or skinny so we envy the two extremes.
The point of me saying all of this is that I want to live in a culture where commenting on a woman’s weight is the last thing we think to do. Ha! Right, I know, almost as possible as Pretty Little Liars being realistic. But maybe if you’re reading my blog you may consider this: You don’t know if the person whose weight your commenting on suffered (or suffers) from an eating disorder or body dysmorphia. Your comment about how “skinny” they look reaffirms to them that they did not look good before but that they look good now that they’ve lost weight. They feel pressure to maintain that impossible standard and yes, one comment can cause someone to relapse and spiral.
Or, consider the friend who had unhealthy eating habits and is losing weight to be healthy and you comment on their weight loss. Again, the comment implies to them that they were not good enough before. Now, instead of focusing on being healthy they are focusing on being “skinny“.
No, this won’t happen 100% of the time you comment on weight. But let’s change the conversation in general because, ya know, #YOLO and whatnot. Let’s encourage healthiness, fitness and set good examples for kids out there. I think about my nieces and my cousins and I hate to think about them defining themselves based on society’s impossible beauty standards. I remember being a teenager and struggling with having curves but having a small frame.
If you read this blog entry and want to make rude comments because you’re “so cool and like she totes won’t know who I am” feel free. Just be kind to the new generation and also, f**k off haters.
And if you read this entry and feel even SLIGHTLY empowered or encouraged, share it!
I wish I had something prolific to say to end this entry but this is more just a rant than anything else so…..
K bye.
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